Princess Diaries: Grave Goblin Lore

Winter has been a crazily busy time.  It has been quite some time since any new residents have come to live at the Castle. Over the season, as I've been walking around and holding congress with the other residents here, I kept thinking it was time for someone new.

That's when I heard that old Gundersnack was going to be in town.  Gundersnack runs the Orphaned Goblin Relocation Experiment (O.G.R.E.) and I've adopted 3 Goblins from him over the years.

I set an appointment to meet with him straight away, and soon thereafter had set my gaze upon a horde of the little buggers.  One by one I met them, picked them up, turned them roundabout but one yellowing Grave Goblin caught my heart (which is really the best way to see things).

Well, I adopted him for my growing horde, and we went out to dinner straight away.  After all, travel-food isn't usually the best.  What is your name, my new goblin friend? I thought as we rode along in our carriage.  As with all things of this nature, I know when I've got it because the thought t-bones sideways into my mind.  For now, he wasn't answering.

We sipped savory mandarin drinks and broke seasoned bread, swirling them in oil.  A fire burned in the pit before us, where I'm sure they sometimes roasted beast.  Soon enough the entrees came and that was when he first spoke eyeing a bowl of noodles with his one eye:  Oh, I LOVE eggs! He said. And rubbery noodles are delicious.  Grave Goblins are like the undead, so half-cooked things are best.  Naturally I shared the meal with him - even though his name remained a mystery.

Back at the Castle, I introduced him to the rest of the Horde: Grubs (Nose Goblin), Gumbo (Mud Goblin) and Grimble (Oak Goblin).  My pottish little kitty, Samhain, nestled down in their circle and tucked them in for the evening.

During a conversation with a friend the next morning, I was explaining the name dilemma...saying that I couldn't quite make out his garbled words.  Gormen? Grimsly? Gummer?

Gristle! He exclaimed.  I am Gristle the Grimbringer - and I love chewy noodles, dusty food and rotted meat!


So there it was: Gristle.  What with four goblins around the castle now, I expect there to be some crazy adventures in the near future!

From Queen to Shining Queen

When last we left our Fairy Queen Amethina, she was being held for ransom by swashbuckling Pirates!  Mary, Queen of Scots, remained to true to her most gracious and royal promise to use goblin fruit to buy her fellow Queen's release.


Spritelings of the faerie courts flew into action!  They flitted all around Midsummer gathering all the goblin fruit they could find into a huge basket.  Soon it was practically overflowing and the Queen Mary designated her loyal servant Vidor Karoly Fedence Kovacs to assist with the delivery.

A favor is offered

Well, the Pirates hemmed and hawed and tried to extort some more booty but they made a deal with Queen Mary and weren't going to risk a full-scale, cannon-blasting, mast-cracking battle out on her waters.

Escort home

"Besides," said Amethina as they unlocked her cold iron shackles. "That illiterate Barbarian Wotan has a treasure map that he can't read.  You can trade rotten goblin fruit to him for the treasure map - Barbarian's love rotten fruit."


As everyone knows, hunting for treasure a favored activity amongst the sea-dogs and wayfarers.  If they weren't convinced before, the opportunity to find gold cinched the deal.


Grateful for the help of Queen Mary, Amethina presented an offer in kind.  "From one queen to another, please accept that we owe you a favor for dealing with all of this....unsavory business."

"Goodbye, sweet Chia."
(Pic: Douglas Herring)

A favor from the Fae was no small matter.  They do not grant such things lightly and Queen Mary smiled in agreement.  She was a clever woman and no doubt would use the boon quite craftily when the time was right.


Queen Amethina kissed the bright green parrot that had kept her company in captivity.  "Goodbye sweet Chia, I shan't miss those Pirates but I will miss you."

Faerie Court back at the Bower.

With that, the pirates returned the Fairy Queen's wings and chiming magic wand.  Amidst the happy chatter of all the elflings, Amethina was escorted back to the fairy bower at the top of the hill....

...now where did that Barbarian go....?